Exposure exercises for social anxiety – 30 ideas at different levels

CBT with exposure is part of NICE’s guidance on social anxiety disorder. In treatment, a clinician makes an individual assessment and plan. The ideas here are general examples for adults and don’t replace that kind of assessment.

Choose an exercise

Rate roughly how hard the step feels, from 0 to 10. The number is a planning aid, not a universal threshold for what is right. Choose a step that feels possible to carry out and repeat while still giving you a chance to learn something new. If you can, choose a situation that moves you closer to something you value – connection, work, study or everyday freedom.

Write down before the exercise:

• What do I think will happen?
• Which safety behaviour do I want to ease off a little?
• What should I observe?

30 ideas

Very small everyday contacts

1. Meet someone’s eyes and say hi to a neighbour.
2. Say thanks and “have a good day” at the checkout.
3. Ask staff where an item is, even if you could find it yourself.
4. Order something with a full sentence instead of pointing.
5. Sit somewhere visible in a café for ten minutes without hiding in your phone.
6. Call someone you trust instead of texting.

Small talk and new contacts

7. Ask a colleague or classmate how their day has been.
8. Ask a follow-up question about their answer.
9. Make a neutral comment in a queue or lift.
10. Introduce yourself to someone you’ve seen several times.
11. Share a short thing about your weekend.
12. Stay through five seconds of silence.

Being seen and speaking up

13. Share your opinion on an everyday question.
14. Ask for something you need.
15. Say a friendly no without a long explanation.
16. Wear something you like but usually avoid out of fear of attention.
17. Ask a question in a small group.
18. Let a small slip of the tongue pass without explaining it.

Work and study

19. Say hello out loud when you arrive at a meeting.
20. Say one prepared sentence in a meeting.
21. Ask a spontaneous follow-up question.
22. Eat lunch in a shared space.
23. Ask for feedback on a specific task.
24. Give a two-minute presentation to someone you trust.

Relationships and free time

25. Send a simple message to someone you’d like to connect with.
26. Suggest a short coffee or walk.
27. Go to an activity and stay for 20 minutes.
28. Go to a party and introduce yourself to someone new.
29. Go on a short date with a single behavioural goal.
30. Join a recurring group activity three times before deciding if it’s for you.

Stay long enough to observe

You don’t need to stay until the anxiety is gone. Stay long enough to carry out the planned action and observe what happens, without fleeing right away. Modern exposure focuses on new learning, not on always waiting for the anxiety to drop by a certain amount during the exercise.

Evaluate in four lines

1. Prediction.
2. Observable outcome.
3. What I did despite the discomfort.
4. Next repetition or adjustment.

Don’t judge the exercise only by how strong the anxiety felt. An exercise can be worthwhile even if it felt hard.

When self-guided practice isn’t the right level

Seek professional support if anxiety strongly limits everyday life, if you have other co-occurring difficulties, if you use alcohol or drugs to cope with situations, or if the exercises lead to you feeling significantly worse. A doctor or another qualified healthcare provider can help you take the next step.